Dating abuse isn't an argument every once in a while, or a bad mood after a bad day. Dating abuse (or relationship abuse) is a pattern of controlling behavior that someone uses against a girlfriend or boyfriend.
Abuse can cause injury and even death, but it doesn't have to be physical. It can include verbal and emotional abuse - constant insults, isolation from family and friends, name-calling, controlling what someone wears, and can also include sexual abuse. (Love Is Respect, National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline 2009)
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Less than 25% of teens say they have discussed dating violence with their parents. (Liz Claiborne Inc. study of teens 13-17 conducted by Applied Research and Consulting LLC, Spring 2000)
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24% of 14 to 17-year-olds know at least one student who has been the victim of dating violence, yet 81% of parents either believe teen dating violence is not an issue or admit they don’t know if it is an issue. (Survey commissioned by the Empower Program, sponsored by Liz Claiborne Inc. and conducted by Knowledge Networks, Social Control, Verbal Abuse, and Violence Among Teenagers, December 2000)
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According to the Ohio Youth Risk Behavior Survey, 2007:
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9.7% of Ohio high school students report dating violence.
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10.2% of Ohio high school students reported having been “physically forced to have sexual intercourse.”
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Latino students (18.6 percent) were significantly more likely than white students (9.1 percent) to have been forced to have sexual intercourse.
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1 out 11 teens report being a victim of physical abuse each year. (Choose Respect 2009)
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62% of tweens (age 11-14) who have been in a relationship say they know friends who have been verbally abused (called stupid, worthless, ugly, etc.) by a boyfriend/girlfriend. (Liz Claiborne Inc. study on teen dating abuse conducted by Teenage Research Unlimited, February 2008).
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Nearly three in four tweens (72%) say boyfriend/girlfriend relationships usually begin at age 14 or younger. (Liz Claiborne Inc. study on teen dating abuse conducted by Teenage Research Unlimited, February 2008).
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1 in 5 teens who have been in a serious relationship report being hit, slapped or pushed by a partner. (Liz Claiborne Inc. 2006)
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Encourage teens that you know and love to embrace the Teen Dating Bill of Rights and Pledge
(Courtesy of Love Is Respect from the National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline 2009)
I HAVE THE RIGHT:
To always be treated with respect.
To be in a healthy relationship.
To not be hurt physically or emotionally.
To refuse sex or affection at anytime.
To have friends and activities apart from my boyfriend or girlfriend.
To end a relationship.
I PLEDGE TO:
Always treat my boyfriend or girlfriend with respect.
Never hurt my boyfriend or girlfriend physically, verbally, or emotionally.
Respect my girlfriend's or boyfriend's decisions concerning sex and affection.
Not be controlling or manipulative in my relationship.
Accept responsibility for myself and my actions.
Healthy Relationships
(This is good for teens to ask themselves or for parents to talk about with their children.)
Here are some questions that may help you decide if your relationship is healthy or not:
Do you:
- Get bothered by the way your boyfriend or girlfriend treats you?
- Ever feel guilty about having your own friends and own interests?
- Often feel pressured to spend time with your boyfriend/girlfriend when you'd rather do something else?
- Wonder if the things happening in your relationship are normal?
- Keep opinions or concerns to yourself to make things easier?
- Change your behavior to avoid fighting with your boyfriend/girlfriend?
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Does your boyfriend/girlfriend:
- Get jealous when you talk to friends of the opposite sex?
- Complain about or try to control what you wear?
- Call or text you excessively?
- Push you to do things you aren't sure you want to (like sex, drugs)?
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Resources:
- Reports
- Web sites
- Teen Dating Violence Hotline - 1-800-331-9474
- National Domestic Violence Hotline - 1-800-799-SAFE
- Local Victim Service Agencies/Shelters
- Guidance Counselors
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* In Fiscal Year 2008, OCJS awarded more than $8.7 million in grants to support
domestic violence shelters and programs, as well as other non-profit
victim service agencies and units of local government in order to
provide and enhance services to victims.
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